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Here at Google, some people have personal assistants, just like everywhere else in the business world. And just like everyone else in the business world with personal assistants, some of them get used for things that they really shouldn't.

Oh, it's not the little stuff, like sorting out all the personal crap - it's the small-but-hugely-important things. Like coffee.

Now, for me, coffee is hugely important. Google has a huge, steaming monster of a coffee machine, and it can make absolutely amazing coffee... if you care. You can get coffee that's freshly ground in the grinder, test to make sure you've filled up to the right level, tamp it down with as much force as you care to use, stick it into the machine and out comes liquid heaven.

Or you can do what I just witnessed: some PA sticking two coffee cups under a double that was half-full, that she didn't bother to tamp, and when they didn't look like there was enough coffee, just run another single through the same one. No crema. It looked like dishwater.

And milk? Don't expect frothy, steamy goodness. No. She sat there with the cappucino jug under the steamer, at the bottom of the milk, and left it there for the time it took me not only to make my own coffee but to steam my own latte. What came out of her jug was flat, lifeless, and had basically been boiled into nothingness. In went the frothless milk onto tasteless coffee.

If I ever, ever get a PA, I want them to like me. If I get coffee like that, I'll know I did something wrong with my life.